My Process of Coping with COVID-19

This is a reflection of one mama's journey through the stages of grief during the COVID-19 Pandemic.

So as a mother, a woman, and a business women I have gone through all the stages of grief over the last 3 months. At first I was like “this can’t really be happening” we will be shut down for 2-weeks while the virus gets figured out and then it will be life as normal.

Rewind, when I first heard about this I did not think it would affect America and that it would stay in China. I also did not think it was all that bad, just a really bad cold and that if you were immunocompromised or elderly you needed to be careful. When I got my first text message asking to put an account on hold I immediately judged and thought “oh great, over protective moms are once again putting their personal needs behind what they think is best for their children”. My son even the first week of the Stay at Home order was diagnosed with pneumonia and we were so worried and then soon after I myself got sick and yet I still believed that all this would be over soon.

I now know that this stage was denial.

Doing what I love!

Then when I was getting ready to start homeschooling my children and get my business up and running virtually I found myself getting frustrated. Frustrated that the school wasn’t giving the children an organized curriculum and frustrated that so many of my clients were not sticking by while we were still providing great workouts and community which is what we were providing before. ( I now 100% understand why this was not a good option for everyone but at the time I was so upset) I reduced the price so that families that were experiencing decreased income could still participate. I added more playdates to hopefully keep the kiddos entertained and increase the value provided by the business. Not to mention my children were making me crazy, they couldn’t do anything independently, they couldn’t give me one minute to complete tasks that I needed to get done.

I now know that this stage was anger.

Then I started making plans, I need to get this many moms to keep the business going and I will offer everyone anything and then all the mamas will be grateful and come back. I started making lesson plans for the boys and creating fun activities to keep us busy. I made a list of all the areas in the house that needed to be cleaned that I never go to, the laundry room, under the sink, floor boards and window sills, etc. I told myself that once I get through all the extras this whole thing will be over and the boys will have a better education and the house will be cleaner than ever. I planned books to read and even dreamed up sewing projects I wanted to try. I told myself that if I made the best of this situation than it will not all be for nothing.

I now know that this stage was bargaining.

Comitting to Great Virtual Workouts

Homeschooling at its finest!

Next, I wanted to give up, I wanted to just keep the business afloat to make sure that my instructors got a little money, that I was able to pay my insurance and fees. I started making contingency plans on how I was going to earn supplemental income after all this so that I could keep my business open, but yet still be available to be my children’s primary care giver. I stopped making fun activity plans for the boys and just kinds let the boys do whatever. I allowed more screen time and more free play time. At the same time I was just so sad, I missed my friends, I was bored of everything and I felt like my clients were too. I wanted the boys to be able to play and see their friends and not feel guilty if we ran into a friend on a bike ride and the kids chatted. I wanted to see family members for birthdays and my kids missed their grandparents. I felt like there was nothing to look forward to and that there was no way that life would ever be back to normal and that all my hard work to build a business was for nothing.

I now know that this stage was despair.

Then one morning I felt like I knew what to expect that day. I set up all the learning activities, made a list of art projects and science projects to do with the boys. I set up a few social distance playdates with people I knew were on the same page as my family was. We went on bike rides and walks and were able to for the most part keep our distance. I looked forward to my zoom classes, my boys understood the schedule and were able to entertain themselves and each other and let me get a few things done. I started waking up early to get must do work done and go out for some runs that cleared my head. I had a plan for the business and I am hopeful for the future. I know that things will be and look different. I know that life as we knew it will not resume, I am sad for business that will no longer be able to operate but I am not going to let this stop me. There is so much that I have left to offer, my instructors are able to create amazing workouts, and we have wonderful mom members that continue to put their needs first for 1 hour a day and model for their kiddos amazing habits that their kids will remember. My kids are learning and happy and loving this extra time with their parents and each other. I don’t feel as lonely anymore because I am making it a point to connect with as many people as possible as often as I can.

I am finally in acceptance.

We are OK!

I am so looking forward to what new opportunities are coming for the business and for my children. Yes, my kids still make me crazy but I no longer feel the pressure to fill their day with engaging learning activities and we just have fun and I don’t feel guilty when we do very little and the boys just play and create games with one another. We have explored our neighborhood with scavenger hunts and bike rides, we create something new every day, we get outside, and we are embracing boredom with a new outlook.

As we prepare to re-enter the world at our new normal way of life I want to continue to embrace our down time with our close family and friends. I want to remember to reach out to friends via zoom and FaceTime so that we can see each other and feel closer. I want to continue to spend more time outdoors where we can keep safe. Just remember, the virus is still here and we need to be cautious. It is our responsibility to protect those that are vulnerable, but we don’t need to stop doing what we love we just need to be smart about it.